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Saturday, October 9
Male Appreciators or Predators of Tall Girls?
Have you (tall girl) ran into tall women that are offended by men such as Joerg (http://www.tallwomen.org/? The reason I asked is because one tall girl approached me and said that it makes her uneasy. She said "male appreciators" are like predators. What do you think?
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16 comments:
i can understand this but i think it was all in good faith though
Joerg is sweet. Others may be looking for things but Joerg is a healthy admirer (if there is a such thing)
There's a fine line between appreciation and obsession, in my opinion. From what I've seen, men who go after women taller than them go after them for many reasons, such as appreciation, which is a good thing, or because of obsession, which is borderline criminal. Women should be vigilant and be able to read into a guy's intent(I am a firm advocate of women learning self defense and using tazers or pepper spray, by the way), I mean, us guys can be real obvious sometimes. In short, I do believe that a man can truly appreciate a taller lady, but watch out for those with fetishes.
Well I think men who like tall women are slimy. Every time I am approached they are looking at me like "meat" or something. I like the average guy who dates a woman because of who she is not just her height. Paula
I would have to agree with Jonathon that there is a line between appreciation and obsession. I do not mind being appreciated for my height the same way that another woman might be appreciated for her hair length or the color of her eyes. It's a part of me which I accept and don't choose to change. However, when someone is over-appreciative, e.g. bringing up my height in EVERY conversation or constantly asking me to do comparisons or something, then I feel uneasy and wish they would stop.
I don't have a suggestion for what to do in those situations except tell the person. Perhaps he or she doesn't realize they are making you uncomfortable.
Joerg is a sweetheart and I think that he has been trying to help women be more self confident about their height. He is not one of the predatory types out there, thank goodness!
It's bad enough there aren't a lot of tall women to start with, but these midgets that have a sick fascination about being dominated or whatever they get out of it is just.. weird to me. Kinda like guys that worship feet... eww.
As an average-sized man (178cm, or 5'10") who really likes taller women, I've been worried since my long-gone teenage days that I might be somewhat abnormal... not that I felt like a pervert or anything like that, but all of my male friends were attracted to girls smaller than them, and anytime we chanced to see some tall girl they would say something like "how awful, she's too tall, how can you like her? It's weird!".
This is how I lived until around my mid-20's, when the Internet came around and I was able to gain a broader view. It didn't take long to find out that there existed lots of people with my same interests, or shall we say "fetish", because I still perceived it all to be a bit on the "sick" side of normality.
Years have passed now, I've met other tall-woman admirers of many kinds, from the merely appreciative to the psychotic-obsessed, and i've been able to understand myself well enough.
Basically what I personally feel -and, I hope, this is true for many an admirer- is a preference for height. Not really a fetish, nor an obsession... to me height is just a special kind of beauty. I can very well appreciate smaller women (in fact, every time I've fallen in love it was with women in the 5'3"-5'8" range), but being near someone who's noticeably taller gives me a special thrill, something purely physical that doesn't happen in other cases.
In the end it's not really different from other kinds of sexual preference: some men go crazy for a big chest, while others prefer breasts that can fit into a champagna glass; some love a full hourglass figure, while others are attracted to slimmer, slightly boyish types, and so on... if anything, the difference here is that there's a much lower number of tall women, so we height-lovers may become "hungrier" (so to speak) because we happen to see so few of them.
I agree with previous posters, if a man looks obsessed it won't be a bad idea to keep your distance. But if someone merely confesses his preference for height, please don't be disturbed at once, keep an open mind.
When we say "Wow, how tall you are!" we don't mean the rude remark you may hear... to us it means "how incredibly beautiful you are!".
I will like to say right now is what is the difference between being attracted to tall women vs. a fetish for them vs. obessed? I'm 6 ft tall and am attracted to women who are tall & beautiful. Is that so bad??
I think there probably are men like my self who very much appreciate tall women who actually are creepy or perverted, no doubt about it. Men are taught to be aggressive, look on women as less then them if were not naturally creepers society works it's ass off to make us that way.
To my way of looking at it their's a good possabiity that this girl had a few bad experiences with men like that. Another possabilty is that she is a scaired little girly girl who wants her man to be her provider/ protector (in other words to take over where her parents left off) and she so dispises her height and men who won't full fill the sick gender role of lover / father that she will spout every kind of calculated vile hate against any one, male or female that gets in the way of that. As a man with feminist leanings AND as an outspoken activist I have seen these women in action over and over again they have back stabbed me , talked about me, done every thing they could to harm me because I represent something that terrifies them, a man who , like the feminists, expects them to be my equal and face adult responsibility.
Chip Bell : With other words - conservative women who want to continue to live in the past.
Sometimes I'm close to call them "height-rasists" - They are the ones who feel challenged when an already tall woman wears heels and when they see her with a much shorter man they can hardly hide their disgust.
Height shouldn't be a matter, but it is because of the fascistic norms and conventions by society.
Your quite right about that,I think that some of the taller women who sit and cry over their height might very well be "girly girls" who want to live out that stereotype but their height is an obstical to them.
Also, you wouldn't believe the reactions of those kind of women regardless of height when they run into a man who won't conform the combustible mix of fear and rage drives them to back biting , slander and any thing else they can dream up. It's really quite amazing to watch one of them I haven't figured out exactly why they cling to the man as protector / provider to such an extent but it could be some subconscious attachment to their father if I wanted to get all Freudian about it. Pure evil but a fascinating social phenomenon for sure.
One more point, from personal experience I can say that the "uneasy" comment fits the mo of these women to a T . It's an off hand comment but it serves to subtily accuse such men of all sorts of things, they could be stalkers or even worse. This is the kind of tactic these women use to try and throw a monkey wrench into the works and get men and women to act the way they want, the way the patriarchy wants.
It could be a legit concern but if the woman has a knight in shining armor attitude toward men it's a good bet that shes with the "I want my daddy" crowd and will use any hate filled cowardly tactic to enforce that on the rest of society.
Years ago shortly after my college years I dated a wonderful gal who was 6'7" while I was a 6'2" male and at no time was I a stalker. I enjoyed her company like I would another woman of shorter height. I was ridiculed for dating her and I suspect she was too for dating me but that was never brought up between us. She taught me that height was not an issue between us, however I lost some friends due to their obnoxious statements. We broke up after several months of dating but height was never the issue for me or her. Back then there were not many women who had the opportunity to express themselves through sports as there is today but were viewed as a freak of nature and not for being a human being. Since then I've tried to stand up for tall women so I was so glad to find this web site. If I have ever given the image of stalking a tall woman I apologize as all I ever intended was to be a supporter
Paula said "men who like tall women are slimy." Why is that? I'm guessing she's tall herself and is indirectly referring to shorter men because it's quite common among taller girls to place this negative judgement against short guys who approach them. I'm 5'5 and I've heard this from taller women before. Society still paints the taller woman/shorter man couple as a deviant portrait so it's understandable why a lot of tall and very tall ladies feel uncomfortable dating shorter guys. Everyone wants to fit in, look normal, and not stand out unless they chose to do so. It begs the question of who's norm is the norm in this ever changing world? I'm not creepy, slimy or a fetish freak. I just appreciate women of all sizes but I'm honestly turned on more by the taller ladies. I can't deny what I'm attracted to and I don't think there's anything wrong with it.
I used to let people like Paula intimidate me. I always figured they were in the majority, and so especially in the days before the internet I had a lot of guilt and shame around the fact that a woman's height affected my feelings the way it did. Like I was being judged unfairly as shallow, perverted, sexually deviant, etc. I don't really understand what that's about. Friends will openly say "I think men should be taller than women" and not fear such judgments, or talk freely about their interest in Asian or Hispanic women. And it's perfectly fine if you're going with the grain of dominant ideology, and indeed worldly to want to go multicultural. But when I chime in with "I like tall women" all the conversation stops and record scratch and suddenly I'm regarded as a child molester! Only once has a friend of mine said hey, for every quirky trait there is out there, there's someone who likes it and it's totally cool. We're all variations on a theme. We all come in different shapes, sizes, and colors, and it's definititely a good thing that all men don't go for the exact same type of woman. Our strength as a species is in our diversity.
I like to say to people, some people are weird because they question things and refuse to conform to standards they find insensible, or have unique traits and idiosynchrosies that are hard to explain. Then there are people who are weird because they are compelled to do things that are harmful to themselves and/or others, and they have victims in their wake. Well weird with victims is the one you want to avoid; but the other kind of weird may broaden your worldview and, God forbid, challenge you to be a bit more understanding or perhaps more compassionate and accepting of others. Ironically enough there are a lot of Christians that need to be shown the passage in their own bible (Luke 6 v37) that says "Judge not, lest ye be judged."
----I agree with that last post one hundred percent.
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